When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my early twenties, “the digital age” meant owning a flip phone. If you were really cutting-edge, maybe you had internet access on it (and by internet, I mean waiting ten minutes for a page to load). Fast forward to now, and there’s not much I haven’t experienced in terms of mood swings and mental health misadventures. But oh, how the times have changed! Living with bipolar in the digital age is like riding that same rollercoaster… except now the ride has social media, apps, and YouTube motivational speakers chiming in at every loop.
The Bipolar Diagnosis: Then and Now
Back in the day, when I first heard the words “bipolar disorder,” I thought, “Well, this explains a lot.” But there was no WebMD or Reddit forum to reassure (or scare the living daylights out of) me. It was all trial and error, mostly error, and many waiting rooms. You’d rely on books or the occasional daytime talk show, which always seemed to exaggerate the worst-case scenarios. Now, I can Google bipolar memes and laugh at the fact that, yes, my life is a bit like running an emotional marathon while wearing heels.
Mood Trackers: Your Friendly Reminder You’re a Hot Mess
Ah, mood tracking. What a time to be alive. Gone are the days of writing in a paper diary, trying to remember if last Wednesday’s sudden burst of energy was just a good mood or the start of something bigger. These days, there are apps! And yes, I have them all. Every single one. My phone’s a mood-tracking powerhouse. Some mornings, I’ll log in, and it’ll feel like I’ve got a therapist living in my pocket—except, of course, the therapist is an app with pop-up ads.
“Track your mood,” they said. “It’ll help,” they said. They didn’t tell me that I’d be getting notifications like, “Hey, it’s been two days since you logged your mood. Are you okay?” Honestly, am I ever okay?
Still, I’ll admit it helps. When I’m spiralling, there’s something oddly grounding about looking back and seeing, “Ah, yes, this week’s emotional tsunami was preceded by three days of thinking I could start my own multi-million dollar business selling fashion accessories for pet rocks. Should’ve seen that coming.”
Social Media: A Bipolar Paradox
Social media is a strange beast when you live with bipolar. Some days, I love it. I’m witty and fun and can post selfies with captions like “Living my best life!” Other days, it’s more like, “Here’s a photo of my cat. She’s the only one who gets me.”
And let’s not forget the comparison trap. One minute, I’m scrolling through Instagram, admiring someone’s beautifully curated kitchen. The next, I’m hyper-fixating on the fact that I haven’t reorganised my pantry in two years and, well, maybe I should stay up all night and alphabetise the spices. (Spoiler alert: I don’t have that many spices, but you’d better believe I’ve tried to alphabetise them at 3 a.m. in a manic haze.)
Facebook isn’t much better. When I’m down, everyone else’s life seems more together than mine. And I start to think, “Does everyone else have a colour-coded meal plan for the week? Is everyone going to yoga at 6 a.m.?” Spoiler: They’re not. But try telling that to my overactive mind during a depressive episode.
Group Chats and Zooms: When You Can’t Hide From Your Mood Swings
Let me tell you about the joy (read: nightmare) of group chats. On my manic days, I’m the life of the group—replying to every message, sending funny memes, and generally acting like a digital comedian. On my down days? Silence. Radio silence. And the group chat will ping-ping-ping with “You okay?” and “Why aren’t you answering?”
And don’t get me started on Zoom. Nothing says, “I’m barely holding it together”, like trying to smile through a video call when your brain feels stuck in quicksand. Bonus points if it’s one of those days where the sound of your husband eating chips is the most irritating thing in the world, but you’ve still got to act like everything’s just peachy in front of the camera.
The Internet: Friend or Foe?
The internet is both my saviour and my biggest enabler. On the one hand, I can hop on YouTube and find meditation-videos, guided relaxation, or even TED Talks on mental health. On the other hand, when I’m feeling manic, I’ve got access to the entire internet’s worth of shopping, bad ideas, and conspiracy theories. Have I been three clicks away from starting an alpaca farm? You bet.
Also, let’s not ignore the black hole that is online shopping. There’s something dangerous about a 2 a.m. impulse buy during a manic episode. I once bought 12 wigs in one night. Do I wear wigs? Absolutely not. Did I feel like I could instantly change my identity so no one would recognise me? Absolutely yes. (My husband had questions. He’s learned not to ask anymore.)
My Family, My Rock (But Also The Ones Who Remind Me to Stop Eating)
Living with bipolar means I rely heavily on my family. My husband has been my rock, my reminder to take my meds, and the person who lovingly hides the credit card during my manic phases. My 22-year-old daughter is brilliant but also blissfully unaware of how much work goes into keeping Mum afloat some days. There are times when I’ve been so down I could barely get out of bed, but thanks to them, I always manage to push through.
They’ve also become the bipolar experts in the house. They know when I’m having “one of those days,” and they know that sometimes, just pretending they are not watching me and sitting in silence is exactly what I need.
Wrapping It All Up: The Bipolar Digital Life
Living with bipolar disorder in the digital age is… something. There’s no better way to put it. Technology has made some things easier, like tracking my moods and accessing information about mental health. But it’s also a world full of distractions, rabbit holes, and ways to feed into the mania or intensify the depression. It’s a fine line to walk, but after all these years, I’ve gotten pretty good at staying on the path (most of the time).
So here I am, 47, still riding the ups and downs, but now with Wi-Fi and a mood-tracking app that nags me daily. It’s a wild ride, but at least I’ve got a solid support system, a sense of humour, and the world’s most organised spice rack—well, at least until the next mood swing hits.
5 FAQs about Living with Bipolar in the Digital Age
- How can technology help manage bipolar disorder? Technology offers mood-tracking apps, online therapy platforms, and mental health forums, providing support and insight for managing symptoms.
- Does social media affect bipolar disorder? Yes, social media can amplify moods, making mania feel more euphoric and depression more isolating. It’s essential to use it mindfully.
- Is online shopping a common issue during manic episodes? Absolutely! The impulsivity during mania can lead to excessive online spending. It’s important to have checks in place, like trusted family members.
- How does bipolar disorder impact family dynamics? Bipolar disorder can put a strain on relationships, but with open communication and support, it can also strengthen family bonds.
- Can the internet provide reliable mental health information? Yes, but relying on trusted sources, like medical websites or mental health organisations, is crucial rather than forums or blogs with questionable advice.